dark nights

Nights when everything has gone fantastically well for a project you're involved in, but somehow you're just not feeling the joy.
Nights when no sooner you're having the time of your life, you're dreading the time you have to go home.
Nights when you've been given permission to get a taxi on work but the one you stop say Dalston is just a bit too far because they're finishing at Charing Cross in ten minutes.
Nights when you don't want sympathy from friends or workmates.
Nights when even your stolen prop bowler hat, which you hope looks great on you, is neither enough to shield you from the rain nor tears.
Nights when you don't know who to call, because no one can give you the response you need.
Nights when you resort to your computer and there isn't even junk mail in your inbox.
Nights when you're acting an enthusiastic part all night, and there is no one you want to be honest with.
Nights when you're standing a doorway with the wind literally howling around you and your feet hurt from wearing high heels all day.
Nights when sitting on the bus with smelly old men your mind returns inevitably, tediously to the same old subject and you can't help but think about your missed opportunities.
Nights when you come home to an empty double bed.
Nights when nothing can persuade you that there is any silver lining to being alone.